I like to think I was made in Chelsea but IS the only way Essex?

If the words 'The Only Way Is...' or 'Made in...' have not entered your vocabulary within the past few weeks you may aswell switch off now...

(But if your ongoing love for repeats of The Hills or The City have left you feeling sour for new reality TV material maybe you could gain a new obsession in life after reading this)


A friend (who shall remain anonymous for various reasons) once told me

'One day I hope to marry a rich man who wears really nice suits to work who I can have intellectually stimulating conversation with and lead a life of luxury... I also hope my bit on the side will be a builder from Essex who will smack my arse and call me darlin. CORRRRRR'


I have, fortunately or unfortunately depending on if you're a half glass full or half glass empty enjoyed the company of both Chelsea boys and Essex lads since this statement and I was firmly team Chelsea.



Until... The Only Way Is Essex came and ravished or ruined (again depending if your a half full/ half empty) my life.


Never have I prayed more for the money to enhance my clevage or to paint myself in shades of orange a la Amy Childs

These days I find fake eyelashes in the most obscure places around the house (I'm most pleased when I realise it is NOT a spider lurking by my jewellery box)


But then


Oh


Whats this??? ...the adverts for Made in Chelsea start pushing my guilty pleasure button and suddenly BOOOOOOOOM - I'm transported back to being 19 and heading to Raffles and other various hotspots on the King's Road.


And so it is time to pick a side. Metaphorically speaking do I choose my investment banker yuppy or my Essex builder ?

 So desperate to be a Sloaney marely 2 years ago and now I'm a total hag for all things fake (Kate Middleton you could STILL turn me back)


So in conclusion:
Made in Chelsea has literally just made its debut this story is to be continued...

But seeing as the only person who made me laugh in that entire hour was club host Ollie Locke ( bottled st. Tropez fiend )

The only way really IS Essex.


SHUTTTTTUPPPPPPP!